There's Never Enough Time

Toby and I were remarking on this last night. We both have so many things we have to do, need to do, and want to do. From getting more work done to keeping the chores completed to the fun stuff or self-improvement we desire. We were discussing our frustration with this seemingly immutable law of physics...or at least of life. How do we get more done? I have pondered this for many years. I have no answers. I know what I'd like to get done each day, week, month, year. I don't know how to make that happen necessarily. 

I am a planner. I love planners. I especially like "The Simplified Planner" I bought this year.  

It is not overly frilly with a bunch of unnecessary bells and whistles. I calendar religiously. I live in a world of deadlines. Drop dead deadlines. But I can't miss the not-so-drop-dead-deadlnes either. But what about all the other things in between? It's easy to make the doctor's appointment or make sure the brief gets filed on time - relatively speaking. But what about the other tasks of daily life? 

I often make "To Do" lists. They will frequently be broken up into "domestic" and "work" but they might have "homeschooling" on them or even sub-lists for menus, groceries, and other tasks that need to be completed as well as reminders. Here is one in my planner.

My lists are invariably overly ambitious and are rarely fully completed; much more so than you see here. Usually they are attempts at planning down to the hour, if not minute to try to squeeze everything I can in. One unexpected, unplanned for thing happens and the whole system is thrown off. But if I do a less detailed one, how do I make sure that there is enough time to make that list remotely feasible? This leaves me a bit frustrated at times; even on those days where I got a lot done! How can I get more out of each day? 

My ideal day would be getting up early-ish, well-rested, and say my Morning Prayer Rule along with a Kathisma of the Psalter, and at least one chapter read of the New Testament; followed by some exercise while saying my Jesus Prayers. (I am partial to jumping on the rebounder while I do that; but am not consistent.) That would take about an hour and a half.

Then I'd shower and get ready for the day and start my legal work. Later, when the kids are up, I'd homeschool Anthony, then continue with some more work. 

Ideally, I could take some time late in the afternoon to do a bit of housework each day so that by the end of the week, the entire house had been cleaned with laundry caught up. Then I'd make dinner or we'd go out to dinner. 

Exercise most days of the week would be great. Toby and I have found in the last couple of years that we actually like to run. Neither of us has ever been athletic but he started running and then one day I tried it and found that it was hard as hell. I struggled through the first week and was angry at myself for not being in better shape. Then, to my utter amazement, I found that I improved and that I even liked it! (In fact, it was in starting to run together that we began a journey of renewal in our relationship. It was beautiful and unexpected benefit of sweating together and struggling to run at our age. It was also a very sweet thing with a profundity I cannot capture here.) We have repeatedly started (but never fully completed) the Couch to 5K program. We got up to the 20 minute run, but then injuries set in, etc. Of course, we have found it very beneficial as is strength training; doing them on alternating days is ideal. Toby also has a set of free weights and a strength/weight training power cage thing. I like Pilates. 

But here's the deal with all that - we have not been consistent. We'll do well for a while, then stop. Sickness will set in, or rain, or cold, or work, or travel and we'll get out of the habit. Then it may be many months before we get back to it. It's all about momentum. Once you lose it, it's hard to get it back and keep it. But we have sedentary jobs and lifestyles and we really need to move more. We decided this morning that we'd start running again. Tonight. And tomorrow will be strength and so forth. 

(I just read this article and it got me to thinking about this even more and seemed an affirmation of our renewed resolve. I also just love what the lady said in it about her late husband, who she credited with her success in life. She said to marry someone you do not just love, but like, admire, and respect. I think she's 100% correct on that. Love and stability at home means everything. And that is part of what has me thinking about schedules and getting more out of life and keeping more balance.)

After exercise, ideally, I'd come back home, shower, then read a bit before retiring at a reasonable time. (I do know that I cannot go on without sufficient sleep for long, even as I do work all-nighters more often than I'd like.) On one of the nights off from exercise, we'd have a nice date night. We are fortunate that we have a date night most weeks now - and that has become a priority for us - we have to be a priority for the sake of us and our family - but currently it is not because it's a night off from exercise.

On the weekends, we'd take walks, do more elaborate cooking or grilling, blog a bit, get to church for both Vigil on Saturday and Divine Liturgy, Trapeza, and Sunday School on Sunday, and maybe work in a nap or movie one of those nights. We do some of this now, but often it is either not done because of work that needs to be done (either domestic or "work-work" as we call it) or the domestic or work-work doesn't get done so that these other things can be (and then an all-nighter is required or some other means to catch up). Then there is stress with whatever is not being done that needs to be that hangs over you and disturbs your peace. This is what I'd like to find a way to drastically minimize in our lives.

One thing I have done in the last year and a half or so, is make certain things a priority. The biggest, beyond meeting work and school commitments, is couple and family time followed by attending religious services. But these other things are important, too. Keeping the home up and doing these other domestic projects keep things running smoothly and reduces stress as well as contributes to peace. We all need more peace. 

This seems like a rational schedule to me. But it is almost impossible to do entirely and consistently enough. There are too many unforeseen things that pop up or things that don't work out like you planned it on your schedule. And, then there are the away-from-home classes during the school year and appointments and phone calls and texts and various emergencies that throw a wrench into a neat schedule as well; not to mention the distractions of social media; getting up late because of poor sleep or staying up late to get things done; etc. 

But I still keep trying with varying levels of focus and success and decisions about what can be cut and what to just let go. But I'm not there yet because there are things that cannot be cut or let go. 

How do you find more time in the day? 

Thanks for reading!