The World Is Too Much with [Me]

I have several quotes and a couple of poems pasted to my desk at home. They are things that speak to me the most. One of them is this by William Wordsworth:

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

I have always loved that poem. It speaks to me. 

Sometimes I feel the pressures of, maybe not the whole world, but much of the evil within this state or this nation; and certainly, the very real effects of it. I am a pro-life advocate. In my own way, I am one of the warriors in this state trying to do my very, very small part to help every life be protected and valued and safe. It is a difficult thing. Many are working toward this same end. The absolute best people I know are in this battle. I have met yet more recently. I am in awe of what they do quietly in the background, working harder than anyone will ever know. 

But there are those (many) working on the other side. There are more still who are indifferent, ignorant of the issues, or think that it's not that big a deal and they'll never be affected. How wrong they are! How do you make them understand and engage? But how fortunate they are to have those working in their best interests when they do not even know it or know they need it! Is this pride or arrogance? I don't think so. I hope not. I truly believe it's simply a cold, hard fact. 

I'm a chronic over-thinker. I think it's both a gift and a curse. It can do real good for my work, but it can do real harm to me as a person. I try to find balance. It is a constant struggle. 

I am exhausted in every way at times. Yes, part of it can relate to pro-life efforts, but I have my "day job" where I help catastrophically injured people and their families - or - the survivors and heirs of those who died - due to defective products or medical malpractice. That is a whole other issue with  injustices, even evils, and things that just make you want to bash your head against a wall due to the asininity. 

Sometimes we see and are exposed to things we cannot share that are a burden to carry. But we know that most people would never believe us because it is unfathomable to comprehend - until it's right there and you're in the middle of it. It can be rather surreal. I experience this in my "day job" as well as pro-life work. Ignorance is bliss. It can also be dangerous. 

Then I homeschool our children and try to be a good wife and mother. I try to have balance, but most of the time - to be honest - there is no balance to be found. If work / pro-life work is heating up, then the other things will suffer. Only when those resolve or reach some lower level of urgency, can I catch up on the others. 

These are some of the reasons I blog here, I think. I suppose you could say I practice a certain "mindfulness" in finding joy, peace, beauty, and love where I can. Starting the blog required a certain focus on such things, which I thought I needed especially in light of some personal losses. It requires me to pay more attention to those things and step out of my own head and the professional (and even spiritual) trials that go on therein. Actually, I think I've always noticed these things but I needed to really notice them more. Really take them in. Life is too short! 

In the midst of certain current pressures, I happened to see these today outside a store in The Woodlands as I was headed here to Houston. They seemed like ferns but with red berries? Two of my favorite things combined. 

I sent them to Toby to identify using his nifty plant identifying app, called PictureThis. We love that app and he breaks it out frequently on our walks. Well, they are ferns! Either Foxtail Ferns or Asparagus Ferns (I love asparagus, too!). 

I'm actually quite low-maintenance. I like simple things. Nature. Order. Peace. Beauty. Simple things, but sometimes the hardest to acquire. 

What I do from day to day can be far from joy, peace, beauty, and love. But it is necessary. Those that do what I do are needed. I am not alone. Far from it. But I think we all cycle through the days where we let is roll off our backs and the days where it seems overwhelming. Still, I feel a strong sense of purpose and I do love what I do even if it exhausts me and takes a lot of out of me. After a bit of a break, whenever that can occur, I will be ready to go at it again. In the interim, when no break can be had, I will push through rather ungracefully at times. 

Tonight I was scrolling mindlessly through Twitter and came upon this:

❤️☦

I was grateful to see this and passed it along to some I thought needed to see it as well. I think St. Silouan was talking about our spiritual struggles and not necessarily temporal ones. But sometimes the two are inextricably intertwined. 

This is a good thing about social media - you can see things that help you if you choose who and what you follow carefully. I've talked about my peaceful Instagram. I'm back on Facebook in a rather limited way compared to how I was before. I have worked to make it as peaceful and uplifting as I can. Our Archpriest posted this today and it was timely for many, many reasons. He posts daily reflections there, on YouTube, etc. My Twitter is not as peaceful - I use it to advocate for life and that is not always peaceful, but I have found some avenues of encouragement and even spiritual fuel there as well. I suspect that I will gain much from this blog which I might not have learned of but for seeing this on Twitter tonight - at exactly the right time. The Lord provides. 

Let's pray for each other and the needs of each other - both known and unknown. God knows each of our needs. I know of a number right now in leadership positions in quite varying walks of life who are expressing fatigue and exhaustion with life. We're only 16 days into the new year. But that matters not. Sometimes there is great synchronicity. I think when we see that, especially if it's negative or troubling synchronicity, we should be praying for each other more. I know that I don't pray as I should. I am still very much a work in progress. I think I will always be.

Thanks for reading!